Brian Carter- Funny Motivational Keynote Speaker: Archive

Christmas music outside mall area now, in a place with no snow… Let’s move on

Dec 31st

I just realized how much of will ferrell is over-enunciating… Call me stupid. Really. This is...

Dec 31st

Do you gno girls actually go “out” for gno? Or purely the concept?

Dec 31st

Holy c-rap, a new Ender Wiggin book!!! Orson scott card didn’t tell me! He sent me an...

Dec 31st

It’s called Ender in Exile… yes get it now! His Ender books are some of the BEST...

Dec 31st

“Hello AGAIN, garlic fries!”

Dec 31st

“Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!”...

Dec 31st

Wow MGMT is growing on me, into a favorite: http://tinyurl.com/7ajpu5

Dec 31st

TLAs FTW!!!

Dec 30th

whoa NYE so soon… holidays and years are flying by like “oh, there goes that holiday...

Dec 30th

Think my bro-in-law might have sold me on switching to the iPhone over this xmas…

Dec 30th

Is there jumprope for the Wii?

Dec 30th

I like water. A lot.

Dec 30th

Checking out the #gaza tweets: http://twithority.com/?q=%23Gaza

Dec 30th

Why Twitter Is the Only Thing in the World That Can Save the World from the Top 10 Causes of...

Dec 30th

dm russpalmer I was thinking last night, you’re so cute when you snore!

Dec 30th

dm ronragsag hey, don’t worry, that thing’s between you and me- I’ll never tell.

Dec 30th

dm ozsultan Huh? Who’s Sergey Brin???

Dec 30th

dm UtahSEOpro I can’t believe you’re really 35 years old! Man. Everyone is so buying...

Dec 30th

dm audette you looked really hot in that elf outfit last night ;-)

Dec 30th

dm soultapestry I can’t help it- Neil Diamond inspired me

Dec 30th

what’s weird is that sometimes my dm fails go through as real dm’s!!!

Dec 30th

dd bmdurrows WHERE did you discretely order that valtrex online?

Dec 30th

dm @chrisbrogan IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR GOATEE ALIVE AGAIN, YOU WILL DELIVER $2m AND CELTICS...

Dec 30th

directmsg @pinkolivefamily no i will NOT give @chrisbrogan back his goatee. Besides it’s...

Dec 30th

dm ezrabutler no!!! ha ha, that hasn’t been legal since the 70’s!

Dec 30th

i have so much fun having fun with fun things

Dec 30th

dm briancarter hey Brian I can’t believe all these people think I’m screwing up my...

Dec 30th

im feeling apostrophobic

Dec 30th

lol view private dm’s that are public because people used “dm” instead of...

Dec 29th

dm barackobama hey buddy, looks like we succeeded- no one knows our secret of how we got you...

Dec 29th

Ha, talked about MVT for our room booking engine with CTO, he said, “That’s complicated,...

Dec 29th

Any SEO’s out there willing to privately discuss content dev and linkbait fees?

Dec 29th

Look where marketers will be spending in 2009- good for social media http://tinyurl.com/3m8rel

Dec 29th

I love how in those fake biz people stock photos you always have three people trying to use the same...

Dec 29th

Not arguing against blogging at all, just saying twitter is better in some ways for some things and...

Dec 29th

If I’m reading rss on blackberry, I read title of blog post, maybe the summary, hardly ever...

Dec 29th

Blogs and twitter drive each other- tweet links, blog about twitter, but I think tweets are starting...

Dec 29th

How many blog posts are really as “in depth” as a white paper? In depth can be an excuse...

Dec 29th

The other place twitter beats blogs: time demands of blogging vs. how much of a blog post is really...

Dec 29th

Twitter is easier and quicker than blogging- some of the stuff I would blog about I tweet about...

Dec 29th

Yes twitter and blogs work together (see my trifecta) but to me, Twitter comes first- blogging comes...

Dec 29th

For me, to write a blog post right/well is 2-4 hours in multiple editing sessions… anymore it...

Dec 29th

The power of the right idea at the right time? Give it to me on twitter- now!

Dec 29th

And it would be interesting to compare how many of your tweets are read by how many people compared...

Dec 29th

I know some of the most influential in social media are still mainly bloggers, but to me, blogs have...

Dec 29th

Clearly one of the reasons we leave home to grow up, and move cities sometimes is because the people...

Dec 29th

Lol I am hiding in the garage tweeting until it’s time to drive home

Dec 29th

Jerry Maguire 2008 part two: “You had me at LOL”

Dec 29th

Wowee kazowee charleston is awesome, the san fran or seattle of south carolina… Similar to...

Dec 29th

Finally getting ready to leave hilton head- the gift for @lindaharvey was awesome, got video...

Dec 28th

Here’s a tip for waitresses- when people need more time to order, it’s about 2 mins not...

Dec 28th

Wow not only did northwest charge for bereavement flight change but stranded sis and bro in law in...

Dec 28th

Love how the foods I crave the most give me the most indigestion

Dec 28th

Delta screwing up bad, phone busy for half hour and charging extra for flight change due to my...

Dec 28th

Evidently if you’re crying when you call delta, they’re more likely to waive the flight...

Dec 28th

There’s an old Spanish saying: “One hand on the frying pan and one hand on your...

Dec 27th

We’re finally opening gifts today- multi-family-person-share.

Dec 27th

This will be a 3-4 Red Bull Christmas. The baroque Christmas music is driving me nuts.

Dec 27th

There’s an old Scottish saying, before you choose a friend, take a look under his kilt

Dec 27th

Doctors have a saying, never stick anything in your ear that’s bigger than your elbow

Dec 27th

There’s an old portugese saying, don’t pull hard enough and a very tall hairy man will...

Dec 27th

We’re playing wise and otherwise where you make up sayings and try to guess which is authentic

Dec 27th

I am in a pie induced coma

Dec 27th

The hardest thing about the holidays for me is being apart from most of the things I usually use to...

Dec 26th

Your face is loud.

Dec 26th

Too many blah blahs blah-blahing too loud for me

Dec 26th

Loan document signing is so thrilling- contract/real estate attorneys must have no “I’m...

Dec 26th

A lot of legal documents are like a legal immune system for the parties involved

Dec 26th

Comforting myself after Celtics loss with pseudo-Skyline-chili leftovers

Dec 26th

Wow 340+ people watched @danishpunkrock’s Christmas song today, lol http://tinyurl.com/6fgpts

Dec 26th

Mr Type A (me) visiting Retiree Parents doesn’t know if he’s bored, relaxed, or...

Dec 25th

Family just got me a case of Red Bull for Christmas! Now I’m going to open EVERYONE...

Dec 25th

Mmm the pseudo-skyline-chili was awesome

Dec 25th

Lol ya at walmart shopping took 7 mins but leaving parking lot took 15

Dec 24th

Woohoo in and out of walmart in 7 mins on christmas eve - I am the ubermanshopper

Dec 24th

Interactive Internet Meme Timeline http://tinyurl.com/6co9z7

Dec 24th

lol I know my mom loves me because she’s making my long lost craving Skyline Chili for...

Dec 24th

If you can’t beat em, join em- especially if it’s Masochists Anonymous

Dec 24th

There’s a cool interactive internet meme timeline I need to remember to tweet later

Dec 24th

Heard an interesting story today about a viet nam vet- he avoided ptsd b/c his horrible childhood...

Dec 24th

Lol there should be a “you go girl” bot, intelligently triggered though

Dec 24th

Any charleston sc peeps around? Might buzz thru tomorrow to show lynda- anything cool to see in less...

Dec 24th

Still loving @danzarrella’s retweet mapping tools- dang

Dec 24th

Is it me or are there a lot of -ing words in every Jackson Brown chorus? Runnin’,...

Dec 24th

Likewise a gulf war vet who said there were a lot of people dying around me but “people died...

Dec 24th

Also, a lawyer actually once wrote: “Making fun of Spam (the food product) is the God-given...

Dec 24th

Anyone paying for semrush? Worth it?

Dec 24th

Ya and coolest restaurant here collector’s cafe, 6 different themed rooms- wow the stuff you...

Dec 24th

Wow found a place that hand rolls their own cigars here in myrtle beach, pretty cool

Dec 24th

Not sure I can express how cool @danzarrella’s new retweet mapper is:...

Dec 24th

Maybe even cooler, search for retweet streams: http://tinyurl.com/884fm7 from @danzarrella

Dec 24th

RT @danzarrella This is the largest ReTweet stream my system has mapped: http://tinyurl.com/9buyzr

Dec 24th

Right you’re bloody well right, you know you’re right to say, and me I don’t care...

Dec 23rd

2 professions that refuse to adopt prompt customer service: doctors and cable technicians

Dec 23rd

8 Ways Clients Can Help Their PPC Agency Succeed http://sphinn.com/story/93945

Dec 23rd

It has taken me a good year to get over the infectious and pervasive SoCal focus on exterior...

Dec 23rd

But really, also could be viewed as “8 Ways Factors in PPC Success”...

Dec 23rd

How attached am I to my hair product? Thought they didn’t sell it here, found it at Walmart-...

Dec 23rd

Funny church sign message for Christmas: http://tinyurl.com/92qs4r

Dec 23rd

Been times in the last year apart from my wife I had glimpses of the pain widow(er)s must feel-...

Dec 23rd

Top 10 recession christmas gifts #9 Can’t afford cigs for that smoker in your life? How bout a...

Dec 23rd

Top 10 recession christmas gifts #8 walmart 64 rolls of toilet paper value pak

Dec 23rd

Top 10 recession christmas gifts #4 rubber band ball you made at the office

Dec 23rd

Top 10 recession christmas gifts #7 a full unopened wrapping paper tube for next year when things...

Dec 23rd

Top 10 recession christmas gifts #6 email everyone a link to a 12 seconds account full of you...

Dec 23rd

If u as a guy go in a walmart with a woman at some point u will look lost, feel lost, just give up

Dec 23rd

Walmart was not made for highly analytical people

Dec 23rd

Top 10 recession christmas gifts #5 brian regan’s “cup of dirt”

Dec 23rd

Top 10 recession christmas gifts #3 jar of tap water

Dec 23rd

It is miraculous, I am actually hanging out with my WIFE @lindaharvey

Dec 23rd

Jamming out on early 80s classic rock ;-)

Dec 22nd

Taco bell drive thru is a good example of a biz that doesn’t scale… Lol but b/c of bad...

Dec 22nd

This isn’t a very positive observation but… lol kinda looks like a guy right before he...

Dec 22nd

Do you think abolition was just an old 1800’s thing? Nope. Ask @johncberger about it.

Dec 22nd

Oh by golly have a holly jolly christmas :-)

Dec 22nd

Why You Need to Include Social Media in Your 2009 Marketing Budget http://zi.ma/8337c6

Dec 22nd

I’m at a loss: I tweet so much, how do people find and RT tweets of mine from two days ago?...

Dec 22nd

Here: http://zi.ma/ec165f some are not bots, RT’ing my tweets from two days ago- that’s...

Dec 22nd

Printing out pdfs possibly to read while on Christmas- including something about information...

Dec 22nd

Fomenting a webcast revolution

Dec 22nd

this IS hilarious Louis CK being funny about technology RT @chrisbrogan http://is.gd/cSRl (thanks...

Dec 22nd

ok firefox 3.0 has bloated to 915 megs, nice.

Dec 22nd

some people have avatars that look like they’re about to say “let me tell you EXACTLY...

Dec 22nd

FYI and pass along: @kirtsy is official twitter for http://kirtsy.com - other faker twitter acct...

Dec 21st

Summer is coming!

Dec 21st

Rockin out to some MGMT courtesy of @mandaotto

Dec 21st

LOL WUT http://tinyurl.com/7d689l

Dec 21st

I love inspiration- I am ideating

Dec 21st

I am happy to be an oddity in myrtle beach south carolina, lol

Dec 21st

What is wrong with me? There’s no Bloc Party on my iPod

Dec 21st

Btw my ceo says twitter, conferences, and blogging are the best pr money he’s ever spent

Dec 21st

lmao RT @vihuela: @briancarter are u ideating to be a thought leader?

Dec 21st

RT @gruber “The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to...

Dec 21st

ha look there’s somebody funny in the top 10 Washington DC Twitterers:...

Dec 21st

Yeah great time for Congress to give themselves a raise, right? http://tinyurl.com/42mpxa

Dec 21st

value of t-shirts as PR RT @stevenmatsumoto ASI just released a study on that a while back. [summary...

Dec 21st

Hmm has anyone ever tried to quantify the PR dollar value of someone wearing your promotional...

Dec 21st

Oh, @fatwallet guy told me first 100 retweeters get t-shirts… he’ll donate $1 to food...

Dec 21st

My funny video interview with @aronado http://zi.ma/c215d0 check it out and leave a comment. Thanks!

Dec 21st

ok I just took a leap and bought my wife the most EXTREME Christmas gift- but obviously can’t...

Dec 20th

Wow, follow @fatwallet, and retweet that he’ll donate $1 to food pantries for every follower....

Dec 20th

Ya I shoulda said- Wow, follow @fatwallet, retweet that he’ll donate $1 to food pantries for...

Dec 20th

11 days left to vote for MILT, and 5th place is a tie right now! http://tinyurl.com/5m3zyu

Dec 20th

voices for equality in tweeting RT @Karoli: New blog post: Twitterer of the Year: One Award We Can...

Dec 20th

Burger King Serves Cease and Desist Notice Via Twitter? http://zi.ma/a60bf6

Dec 20th

Do you ever just throw off your underwear in a fit of joy? Me neither.

Dec 20th

Fortunately, driving a convertible on a saturday is fun everywhere

Dec 20th

lol don’t totally agree, but clever… RT @DavidKeffen A clear conscience is normally a...

Dec 20th

Wow checks should be illegal in stores…

Dec 20th

Lol ya ok guys, but in unseasonably warm myrtle beach right now? It’s nice :-)

Dec 20th

Omg target is insane- welcome to the holidays!

Dec 20th

2 KFC buffalo snackers- if you don’t hear from me within an hour, call 911

Dec 20th

Lol it’s like everyone simultaneously said “Hey it’s warm out! Where is the...

Dec 20th

Wow this video’s pretty good too, “Rent-A-Person” http://tinyurl.com/5z6cax

Dec 20th

lol RT @stelzner In ancient times, an alien vacuum must have attacked the dog people. Since then,...

Dec 19th

This is my 8500th tweet which is supposedly a big deal. I feel nothing.

Dec 19th

Wow

Dec 19th

Here’s my video interview from last night with @aronado http://www.luckystartups.com/ 38...

Dec 19th

“Take Advantage of .TV Domains for SEO and Reputation Management”...

Dec 19th

Nothing wrong with autofollow but the spam msgs? Come on people, I just scan my dm’s looking...

Dec 19th

lol I must be surly again today

Dec 19th

oh cool you can use remember the milk with Twitter- http://www.rememberthemilk.com/services/twitter/...

Dec 19th

And the Disturbed cover: http://tinyurl.com/348pvy

Dec 19th

Cheezy but true RT @ajpassey @WillPao If Twitter had been built in 1978, this would be its theme...

Dec 19th

While we’re on Genesis, the class video for Land of Confusion http://tinyurl.com/2gzouf

Dec 19th

And Brian Regan on flying: http://tinyurl.com/4x9txq

Dec 19th

My favorite comedian, Brian Regan re: the ER http://tinyurl.com/267ndb

Dec 19th

Here’s my live interview show with @aronado Lucky Startups… http://zi.ma/c215d0

Dec 19th

Hey, anybody know a good service for selling digital products that facilitates AdWords conv tracking...

Dec 19th

Changing my name to Briønstern Sørnystrenost Claustøngard. Cuz Danish is so hot right now.

Dec 19th

I’m getting interviewed NOW with video by @aronado http://www.luckystartups.com/live-show/

Dec 19th

Awesome, @aronado show was fun- what’s the twitter name of D TOWN?

Dec 19th

On early! http://www.luckystartups.com/live-show/

Dec 19th

I’m going on live with @aronado http://www.luckystartups.com/live-show/

Dec 19th

lol quote from an AM: “site needs to go away, right? …to not confuse spiders, robots and...

Dec 18th

My department says “There is no charge for awesomeness, but…”...

Dec 18th

“I am multitwitteral” says @stuartbutler

Dec 18th

Aggressively pushing clean WTF/H alternative: WTW = “What the WHAT???”, created by...

Dec 18th

Two awesome NBA games on ESPN tonight. Awesomeness.

Dec 18th

RT @pdimaio as long as they have a New Kids on the Block network I’m happy. Oh wait, they do....

Dec 18th

Celtics tonight on ESPN

Dec 18th

Any Canadians… know if “car hire” is parlance for renting a car (not hiring a...

Dec 18th

Thanks guys, also found that Google Trends agrees with you: “car hire” is UK.

Dec 18th

ya I like this snowing ball RSS image http://tinyurl.com/5n56ss

Dec 18th

On the other hand, music catalyzes all the best emotions and experiences. Music glorificates life.

Dec 18th

Ning and Twitter growth very similar: http://tinyurl.com/4hrupo

Dec 17th

When you spend 6 figures with a vendor, they send you salami, brie, and waffle cookies...

Dec 17th

a better pic of specialness from a vendor http://tinyurl.com/5j9a9b

Dec 17th

Dad blogger increased traffic by 2,900% with social media “5 Steps to Improve Traffic with...

Dec 17th

Anybody have any stats on the adoption of private social networks? e.g. for clubs, associations,...

Dec 17th

If you haven’t joined http://briancarter.ning.com/ you should know, one of the benefits is...

Dec 17th

Wow I feel so special and honored to be in the Captain’s Circle at Princess Cruise Lines!

Dec 16th

Doggonit now why wouldn’t Camtasia let me choose “what u hear” as an audio option?

Dec 16th

K, don’t be stupid. Think about SEO DURING web design, please! http://sphinn.com/story/93003...

Dec 16th

Video of the jokes from my twitter stand up comedy concert: http://zi.ma/3ba4ea

Dec 16th

“5 Steps to Improve Traffic with Social Marketing” from dad blogger @pdimaio...

Dec 16th

My “4 Step PPC Ad Optimization Process” http://sphinn.com/story/92970

Dec 16th

Digg continues to hammer nails into their coffin as a trustworthy social voting site?...

Dec 16th

K i’m done with girl. that got old fast.

Dec 16th

12seconds - That is so dang interesting, girl http://tiny12.tv/JXA7M

Dec 16th

Perfect day in food: red bull, bbq pork, coke, ginger tea, feta spaghetti, popcorn, ice cream.

Dec 16th

lol laughing at @officemate’s japanese pranks video http://tinyurl.com/65zspt

Dec 16th

Girl, forget that ZERO and get yourself a HERO! Like totally

Dec 16th

Watch

Twitter Comedy Etc

Dec 16th

Awesome people just recommended me on LinkedIn. http://zi.ma/400 I highly recommend you request...

Dec 16th

Ah dang it. I follow so many people, I lost this person- she has AMAZING hair. I was going to...

Dec 16th

Wow @mandaotto just told me about Tourette’s Guy- I know, I’m out of the loop- this guy...

Dec 16th

Guys, be nice to @avenuez - she used to look like this. http://tinyurl.com/6594pu Very sad :-(

Dec 16th

Dang it, the Tourette’s Guy got the Magnum PI theme stuck in my head. That’s one of the...

Dec 16th

I’m going to start calling everybody girl now. Thanks, girl.

Dec 15th

Thinking planning to do 4 conferences in 2009 would be optimal. And probably have to be speaking at...

Dec 15th

lol still haven’t looked at how much I spent in Vegas at Pubcon… too afraid. Maybe...

Dec 15th

I haven’t had one of THESE Mondays in a long time ;-)

Dec 15th

The one life skill everyone should have these days: Google it before asking someone a question. Ask...

Dec 15th